On Being a Grown-up

A conversation with my niece while playing with play-doh:

Her: "What's a wild animal we can make with the red play-doh?"
Me: "Hmm. A bird? What about a red bird?"
Her: "No, a wild animal!"
Me: "Haha, okay... maybe a fox?"
Her: thinking... "Laura, can you make me a fox out of the red play-doh?"
Me: "Maybe, I'm not sure I know how."
Her: "Of course you do!"
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because you're a grown-up, and grown-ups know how to do everything."

Kids say the darndest things. It's especially funny when they say them with 100% confidence. What's weird is that I actually remember thinking that as a little kid. Grown-ups knew everything. They were confident in all that they did, and their knowledge was infinite. I never once thought that my parents had questions or insecurities about their life, their jobs, or raising their kids. I used to tell my dad he should be the president because I really believed he would be the best at it. I know now that he would probably hate it, because he takes  f o r e v e r  to make decisions (I mean come on, engineers are just not made to be politicians). My mom always knew the right words to say when I needed help or I was frustrated or I didn't know what to do in a situation (she still does). But I know now that she has a lot of doubt and insecurities about her own decisions. It was a weird feeling when I realized that.

And here I am. A "grown-up," living life and making decisions for myself and with my husband, confident in some of those but unsure about a lot of them. I think the hardest thing about becoming an adult is realizing that you never reach that feeling of having it all together. I always pictured that feeling being a given when I got older. It's almost like I expected to feel the transition from child to adult. When I graduated college, things definitely felt different but that was mostly because I moved away from friends and the weight of the responsibility for my life finally hit my shoulders for good. But I did not feel any more confident than I felt when I left for college at 18. I still felt insecure, unsure that I was making good decisions, and waiting for that aha moment when I finally could have it all together. That feeling never came. In the past three years I've grown and changed, and while I don't feel completely confident in all I'm doing, it's nice to know that I'm not alone. I think what's changed is my perspective more than anything. I've come to realize that we're all in the same boat, wondering if what we're doing will turn out okay. There's comfort in that.

The thing is, it's in those moments where I have to make tough decisions, that I have experienced the most growth. Yes, I rely on help from the Lord and from people I trust around me, but still a lot of things in life are simply moments where I have to take a leap of faith. I've learned to jump wholeheartedly into the unknown, and trust that I'll know what to do when I get there. And if I don't, I'll improvise.The more leaps of faith I take, the less timid I am. When I look back and see how I've grown, I can confidently say that I am not the same person I was three years ago - in a good way.

I am thankful for growth. I am thankful for change. And I am thankful for a world that pushes me to make decisions that I don't want to make, because I am a better person for it.

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Surprise!

Well, we pulled it off. We surprised Michael for his birthday, and I think we got him (mostly!). There was lots of planning involved - hiding food and decorations in random places in the house and in other people's houses, and soliciting help from others because let me tell you, it's hard planning a surprise party for someone you live with! Michael turns 27 on Wednesday, so I wanted to surprise him on a birthday that wasn't supposed to be a big one. He was mostly surprised (even if he wasn't totally, he had a great reaction) and he was definitely excited to see so many people at our house to celebrate his birthday with him. He was also really surprised that I asked his parents to come up for it, too. So glad that I could make him feel special! A word to the wise: have your surprise party for someone at a different house than the one they live in. It would make it so much easier to get things set up ahead of time. But I'm so glad I did it and thankful to all the friends who showed up to make it memorable!

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Little tidbits

photo by Blythe K Photography

+ Little City Radio. Just listen. So good! Thank you Kate & Anna for enlightening me.

+ Ghettofy your twitter. Search your @ twitter name and see your twitter feed look gangsta. Hilarious!

+ This TED Talk. Seriously inspiring. Don't waste time in your 20s - make them count!

+ The First Love sermon series my church just finished up last weekend. Every single one is solid truth for relationships, for those single or married. I really loved this series, and I love my church!

+ Just recently started following Our Freaking Budget and I love it already. It's all about being smart with your money. I'm on board with that.

+ The difference between olive oils. This explains why I'm always burning things on the stove but not getting them fully cooked. Extra virgin is not always the "right" oil to use.

+ I'm pretty overdue for a new computer - my laptop is the one I got for my first year of college and it's almost 7 years old. I'm just grateful it's lasted me this long! So I ordered a new computer this week (thanks to Michael doing hours and hours of research). Bad for the bank account, but totally fun for me. I'm hoping I get it in time for the weekend so I can get it all set up!

+ On the menu for this weekend: BBQ pork in the crockpot, mac & cheese, pink lemonade punch, and spending time outside. I hope it's good weather!

I'm really, really, really ready for Friday. Who's with me?

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Dreamland

Last week we were on vacation. And when I say vacation, I mean we went to one of the most relaxing, beautiful, quintessentially southern places we've ever been to. And it was glorious! Michael's granddad was generous enough to host a vacation for the whole family down in Bluffton, SC at a magical resort (and I don't ever use the word "magical" lightly) that was basically a little Southern town right on the water, with a similar feel to the little town of Beaufort. We stayed in the cute little village in one of those old, southern style homes with a big huge porch and wide planked floors.

We biked, we kayaked, and we climbed tree houses. We saw alligators and green lizards and dolphins. We lounged by the pool and roasted s'mores by the fire. We did some serious front porch sittin'. We played with our nieces and nephews, who are all too much fun! It really was the best week ever.

Most of the time, I am ready to come home after a trip away from home. Not often do I wish I could stay on vacation because I like being at home where I'm comfortable and have my things and my routine. This was one of the few places I've been where I just wanted to stay forever. It just felt like home. I felt like I was in a dream, and I literally did not think about work or everyday stresses at all the whole time we were down there. Even though it was hard to leave, I came home feeling rested and just all sorts of good feelings inside. And that, my friends, is how a vacation should leave you.

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Baby Molly + Family Time

The weekend before last, we finally went to Charlotte to see my new baby niece, Molly Claire. She was born on Easter weekend and I had to wait two whole weeks to see her! She is precious in every way, and it was a dream to hold her - she is so cuddly and just melted into my arms. Two-week-old newborns are the best! I held her for a few hours on Saturday while my sister-in-law took a much needed nap, and she literally slept on my stomach the entire time. Such a sweetie. We also got to see my other sister-in-law run a half marathon! She had a terrible cold but still pushed on through and ran the entire thing. It was so cute to watch her little boy clap for her when he saw her running! We had a great weekend, and I'm so thankful to have married into such an amazing family. Michael's parents love me as their own daughter, and I couldn't have asked for better.

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Mini-vacation: Florida

I don't normally try to do "catch-up" posts, but we've had so many great weekends recently that I figured I should share a bit from each of them (and now that I finally have some time to catch a breath). This post is all about Florida!

Michael goes to Miami a couple times a year for work, so when we found out he was going down again in April we immediately started brainstorming how to make a trip out of it. Vacations are a lot cheaper when one of your plane tickets is already paid for! Michael's grandmother lives in Naples, so we figured out a way to spend a long weekend with her before his work commitment. We flew into Naples on Friday, rented a car to drive around for the weekend, and then on Monday drove across the state to Ft. Lauderdale, where we got some lunch on the water and then I flew out from there and Michael headed down to Miami to stay for the week. It worked out perfectly!

We had such a great weekend down there. I was seriously at my limit with the longest winter in the history of the world, and Florida was just the way to get me through it. Grandmom showed us around her neighborhood community (which was awesome by the way. Think a college campus with palm trees and golf carts, without the class part) and took us to Perkins for dinner. We spent our afternoons at the beach and soaked up that Florida sun we needed so much. We took Grandmom out for pizza and ice cream, and also to go see the sunset on the water. It was just a really great weekend.

Then I came home and it was finally spring! Thank you, Florida!

I had the BEST fish tacos at Casablanca in Ft. Lauderdale. If you're ever down in Florida and need a good lunch spot, this is where you should go! Not to mention the view was incredible!

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